Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Common mistakes made by men during sex (Part II)

Mistake Number Five - Dirty Dan

Okay, so men have dangly bits. Rather like a dried floral arrangement. Don't go near a woman if you have not carefully cleaned your little appendage and the little ball bag. Make sure you lift up the scrotum and wash all those little gross creepy thingies that collect there. Like, some of your dingleberries that traveled and hid in what they hoped was a moist area. Never attempt sex unclean. Yugh! I need a drink just thinking about it. Women have a far more sensitive nose and we smell stuff you might not.

Mistake Number Six - Stopping before you really get started

How many times do women get to the point of orgasm, and then the man stops, and hops on for the ride? Just because she is lying there enjoying what you are doing, doesn't mean that you should stop! Only when she pushes you away do you know that she has achieved orgasm and her clitoris is far too sensitive for extra touching. Do we have to spell it all out for you? Not all women do a Meg Ryan and makes a racket so that even the windows vibrate. If you are not sure, ask. Don't just stop mid-stroke and leave her unfulfilled while you get your rocks off.

Mistake Number Seven - The socks

Don't ever ever ever ever remove your underwear before you remove your socks. There is nothing more pathetic, than a man standing wearing nothing but socks. It's a bit of a passion killer. And don't dare jump into bed wearing nothing but socks! I don't care how cold your feet are!

Mistake Number Eight - Meaningless Conversation

There is nothing worse than a man who after a good session of sex asks, "And how was it for you dear?" God, if you don't know, pretend you know. Because, by asking you are basically admitting that you don't have a clue what you are doing. Rather ask something like, "Did you prefer the front door to the back door?" Or something equally romantic. Asking how it was kills all the afterglow and desire for seconds.

Mistake Number Nine - Forceful Fellatio

As mentioned earlier, some women have a well-developed gag reflex. Licking the appendage as one licks an icecream is okay and acceptable for most women. Deep Throat was a movie and not necessary real life. Some women can't breathe through their nose when they have an erect member blocking their breathing passage. And if you get excited, going in deeper will literally tickle their tummies. Don't get upset if you end up with their dinner over your pride and joy. Pubic hairs stuck in teeth are not a substitute for floss. Remember, not all women like the taste of your manufactured product, so ask before you offload your wares.

Mistake Number Ten - Sweet Dreams

When all's done, and you've ejaculated at the right time, and in the right place, remember to cuddle and maybe chat a little. Rolling off sated, and lying on your back going straight to sleep, and snoring loudly, is not on at all. It's actually rather selfish. Women have needs after the deed is done as well.

Common mistakes made by men during sex (Part I)

Coitus Unpleasurablis

Many men think that sex is instinctive and is something that just happens naturally. But, leaving your woman fully satisfied takes hard work and practise. You have to know what you are doing, or where you are going, for it to be an enjoyable experience for your lucky lady. There are common mistakes made by the most practised and experienced of men, that they have gotten away with for many years, because women just lay back and pretend to enjoy it. The odd moan here and there while you are thinking of how you want to redo your lounge curtains is enough to keep a man pumping away. Well, the time has come for some honesty here. Men need to know that certain things they do that cause us to moan in frustration, or cry out in pain, are not signs that we are voicing our pleasure. If we don't tell them, they'll never know. Who cares about their fragile little egos, and that the truth might cause instant hydraulic failure. They need to know the truth, and I have volunteered to be the one to tell them. So, here it is.

Mistake numero uno - Going straight for the naughty bits

You give a little kiss, for you that might be the only foreplay, get them threads off and voila! Dive straight in. Guys, a kiss is not foreplay. We want more than that. Kiss + clothing removal DOES NOT = lubrication. Goodness, what are you men thinking? Just think of us as ice maidens that need to be warmed up first. And I mean, seriously warmed up. Some of you men think you are open cast mining and go straight for the hole. Others, have this fixation with the nipples. Licking and sucking is pleasurable, but sucking on them like a 3 month old baby who slept through the night for the first time and wakes up starving? That's not on. Nipples are sensitive, and if you give them callouses they'll stop working.

Mistake Number Two - Tonsil Hockey

For some men kissing is like playing a game of tonsil hockey. They think the deeper they stick in their tongue, the more sexy it is. Some of us do have the gag reflex, you know! Passionate kissing is an art form and something that you have to practise. A lot. Sticking a tongue in a mouth and using to try and floss the other person's teeth is not kissing.

Mistake Number Three - Uncalled for workmanlike behaviour

You might like women to use a bit of force when grabbing your golden banana, but when you use force on us it is extremely unpleasurable. In fact, it is quite painful. The clitoris has twice as many nerves as the penis, and they are all centred in a very small area. In fact, so small, it might be very hard to find. But finding it is not an expedition where you have to wear your wellington boots. Finding the clitoris is another art form. Most women know where theirs is, so just ask them to guide you. And when you do find it, don't treat it like Shakespeare with his, "Out damn spot." It's also not like shoes that you have to polish hard to make them shine. No matter how hard you polish the clitoris, it will never shine. Ever. What you will do with your rough workmanlike polishing or rubbing technique, will be to make it so painful and sensitive, that it will momentarily lose its ability to create pleasant sensations. And when that happens, the surrounding area becomes dessicated like coconut.

Mistake Number Four - Doing an Interview with a Vampire personation

Giving someone a hickey is not putting a mark on them. It's what teenagers do because they don't know better. It is not sexy, it is not erotic, and if someone tries to do that to me, I might accidentally knee them in the crotch. The same with nibbling on ears. Frankly, if someone touches me behind my neck or touches my ears I get cold shivers. So if you bite my ear, I'm afraid it's the death penalty, mister. You are not a vampire. Being eaten by another human being is what cannibals do. We have evolved from that. I remember when I worked on a racehorse stud farm, the over-excited stallion bit the mare on the neck, and she lashed out and kicked him in the gonads. And they were animals and it wasn't acceptable.

Friday, November 13, 2009

To Make Memories, New Neurons Must Erase Older Ones

Short-term memory may depend in a surprising way on the ability of newly formed neurons to erase older connections. That's the conclusion of a report in the November 13th issue of the journal Cell, a Cell Press publication, that provides some of the first evidence in mice and rats that new neurons sprouted in the hippocampus cause the decay of short-term fear memories in that brain region, without an overall memory loss.

The researchers led by Kaoru Inokuchi of The University of Toyama in Japan say the discovery shows a more important role than many would have anticipated for the erasure of memories. They propose that the birth of new neurons promotes the gradual loss of memory traces from the hippocampus as those memories are transferred elsewhere in the brain for permanent storage. Although they examined this process only in the context of fear memory, Inokuchi says he "thinks all memories that are initially stored in the hippocampus are influenced by this process."

In effect, the new results suggest that failure of neurogenesis will lead to problems because the brain's short-term memory is literally full. In Inokuchi's words, we may perhaps experience difficulties in acquiring new information because the storage capacity of the hippocampus is "occupied by un-erased old memories."

Of course, Inokuchi added, "our finding does not necessary deny the important role of neurogenesis in memory acquisition." Hippocampal neurogenesis could have a dual role, he says, in both erasing old memories and acquiring new ones.

Earlier studies had shown a crucial role for the hippocampus in memorizing new facts. Studies in people with impaired and normal memories and in animals also showed that information recall initially depends on the hippocampus. That dependence progressively decays over time as memories are transferred to other regions, such as the neocortex. Scientists have also observed a similar decay in the strength of connections between neurons of the hippocampus, a phenomenon known as long-term potentiation (LTP) that is considered the cellular basis for learning and memory.

Scientists also knew that new neurons continue to form in the hippocampuses of adults, even into old age. But it wasn't really clear what those newborn brain cells actually do. Inokuchi's team suspected that the integration of new neurons was required to maintain neural connections, but they realized it might also go the other way. The incorporation of new neurons into pre-existing neural circuits might also disturb the structure of pre-existing information, and indeed that is what their new findings now show.

The researchers found that irradiation of rat's brains, which drastically reduces the formation of new neurons, maintains the strength of neural connections in the hippocampus. Likewise, studies of mice in which hippocampal neurogenesis was suppressed by either physical or genetic means showed a prolonged dependence of fear memories on that brain region.

On the other hand, voluntary exercise, which causes a rise in the birth of new neurons, sped up the decay rate of hippocampus-dependency of memory, without any memory loss.

"Enhanced neurogenesis caused by exercise may accelerate memory decay from the hippocampus and at the same time it may facilitate memory transfer to neocortex," Inokuchi said. "Hippocampal capacity of memory storage is limited, but in this way exercise could increase the [brain's overall] capacity."

The study sets the stage for further examination of the connections between neurogenesis and learning capacity, the researchers say. They also plan to examine how the gradual decay of memory dependence on the hippocampus relates to the transformation of memory over time from a detailed and contextually-rich form to a more generic one.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

H1N1 has killed 3,900 Americans, CDC says

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – H1N1 swine flu killed an estimated 3,900 Americans from April to October, including more than 500 children, U.S. health officials said on Thursday.

Better data than was previously available shows the flu pandemic has infected an estimated 22 million Americans and put 98,000 in the hospital, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said.

Children account for 8 million of the infected, 36,000 of those hospitalized and 540 deaths.

"We think the 540 number is a better estimate for the big picture that we are getting out there," the CDC's Dr. Anne Schuchat told reporters.

About 82 U.S. children die in an average flu season. The CDC said H1N1 has produced the worst flu season in the United States since 1997, when current measurements started.

"What we are seeing in 2009 is unprecedented," Schuchat said," Schuchat said.

The CDC said doctors need to treat severe cases quickly with antiviral drugs such as Tamiflu, made by Roche AG, Relenza, made by GlaxoSmithKline or for especially grave hospitalized cases, peramivir, made by BioCryst.

Schuchat stressed the pandemic was not worsening but noted that it takes time to gather data on flu cases and deaths. The count released on Thursday is not an actual reckoning of deaths but an extrapolation based on detailed data from 10 states.

CDC's previous estimate of U.S. flu deaths was 1,200.

In an average flu season, about 36,000 Americans die and 200,000 are hospitalized with 90 percent of deaths and hospitalizations among people over 65.

With H1N1, 90 percent of those infected and seriously ill are younger adults and children.

Schuchat said the pandemic would likely continue through the winter and early spring. "We have a long flu season ahead of us," she said.

Most confirmed flu cases are H1N1 and about 30 percent of people who show up at the doctor's office and are actually tested for influenza turn out to have flu, as opposed to some other infection.

(Additional reporting by Julie Steenhuysen in Chicago, edited by Alan Elsner)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Why doctors threaten to ditch Medicare patients

Medicare has become a scary word to the doctors at the largest private group practice in Kansas City, Mo.

It's so scary that most physicians at Kansas City Internal Medicine, with 65% of its nearly 70,000 active patients age 65 or older, have stopped accepting walk-in Medicare enrollees, said Dr. David Wilt, an internist at the group.

Wilt and his colleagues say they are shunning the area's growing senior population because they believe Medicare doesn't reimburse physicians enough to cover the cost of care.

"And if Medicare further cuts its reimbursement rates, then we'll be functioning at a loss," said Wilt.

Wilt -- and doctors with lots of senior patients -- are especially troubled by a 21% cut in Medicare payments to physicians scheduled to take place in 2010. Last week, the Senate voted against stopping that cut, and more annual cuts over the next decade, from taking place.

"If the [21%] cut happens, that cut in our payments will exceed our profits. The only option to us to stay in business will be to fire employees," Wilt said.

Physicians say a boycott against Medicare has already begun because they are tired of dealing with the yearly threat of a payment cut.

Dr. John Hagan, a Kansas City-area ophthalmologist, offers a unique perspective. "I can speak to both sides of this," he said.

As many as 75% of patients at his group practice are Medicare beneficiaries who are treated for problems such as glaucoma or undergo cataract surgery. And if payment rates are cut 21%, after already being reduced to about half the going $1,200 rate for cataract surgery and care in Missouri, Hagan said he won't be able to see more Medicare patients because he won't be able to cover his expenses.

But Hagan himself became Medicare-eligible this month -- and he's nervous. "If I accept Medicare for myself and my wife, I'm fearful I won't be able to stay with my cardiologist and my wife won't be able to stay with her physicians," he said.

Hagan has elected not to enroll in Medicare. Instead, he's paying extra out of pocket for his company's insurance coverage.

"At some point I won't want to work," said Hagan. "At that time, I will be on Medicare, and I am scared to death."

Perception versus reality?

The federal government's Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) said it is aware of anecdotal reports of doctors not taking Medicare beneficiaries.

However, the agency maintains that its own data, and other industry reports, show only a small percentage of beneficiaries unable to get physician access.

CMS said 96.5% of all practicing physicians, nearly 600,000 doctors, currently participate in Medicare.

"Geographically, the level within every state is less than 5% of Medicare beneficiaries who have difficulties accessing a doctor," said Renee Mentnech, director of CMS' Research and Evaluation Group.

Mentnech also pointed to an August report from the Government Accountability Office (GAO), an independent branch of the Congress, that showed less than 3% of Medicare beneficiaries reported major difficulties accessing physician services in 2007 and 2008.

But these numbers do little to comfort seniors such as Earl Bean, 67. He recently told CNNMoney.com that he couldn't easily find a new primary care physician who accepted Medicare after his former doctor retired and Bean himself had to move to a new city.

"I had a company supplemental policy with drug coverage. It didn't matter," said Bean. "They wanted nothing to do with me."

Dr. Mark Laitos, a family physician based in Longmont, Colo., said Medicare-dependent seniors in his area are still able to find primary care physicians "but it takes some effort."

"They have to make a bunch of phone calls, get on waiting lists or go over to the next town," said Laitos.

He stopped seeing new Medicare seniors six years ago because of reimbursement issues. Laitos said Medicare on average reimburses him 80 cents on the dollar. "If I charge a patient under 65 one dollar for a service, for a Medicare patient I can only charge 80 cents," he said.

"As patients in my practice are getting older, the day they become Medicare-eligible, my reimbursement drops," he said.

Still, he's not ditching his long-standing patients who've aged into Medicare. "If I ran the practice like a business, I would," Laitos said. "This is a small town. It's hard to drop all Medicare patients."

"Doctors face this bizarre dance every year. Most are frustrated and resent this threat to cut our rates when our costs are increasing every year," he said.

Federal law requires that Medicare physicians' payment rates be adjusted annually based on a sustainable-growth rate that's tied to the health of the economy.

Physicians face a rate cut every year, although Congress has at the last minute blocked those cuts from happening in seven of the last 8 years.

Dr. Keith Jantz, an internist at Kansas City Internal Medicine, fears that if the 21% cut goes through next year, "physicians around the country would stop seeing any Medicare patients."

"It's happening in places like Las Vegas and in Anchorage, Alaska, and this could be a harbinger of what's to come unless Medicare maintains decent [payment] rates," Jantz said.

The AARP, the nation's largest senior-citizen advocacy group, not only wants the Senate to rescind this year's cut, it wants long-term action. "Short-term patches to preserve physician pay make the access problem [for seniors] worse by undermining doctors' confidence in the Medicare program," the group said in a statement

The American Medical Association (AMA), which represents doctors, is pushing for a permanent repeal of the reimbursement formula.

"We believe that as part of comprehensive health reform, physicians have to be incented to keep people healthy and out of the hospital," said James Rohack, president of the AMA. "Under this formula, they are penalized for doing it."